FlubaDub
Archives

Home

BLOGs!!!
Archives
Storytime
Bios
Nothingness
Contact Us

If all goes according to plan, this is where we'll keep the best daily entries, for you to enjoy over and over again...

Dan's Archive

I'M TRYIN TO SEE BLACKHAWK DOWN, WANNA COME?
NO ONE WANTS TO PLAY WITH ME!
REVENGE OF SHINOBI
FED EX HOW I HATE THEE (2/19)
FEAR AND LOATHING IN COLUMBUS (2/28)
DAN HAS REVIVED! (3/17)
THE CAR IS POSSESSED.  (3/19)

Luke's Archive

I've gotten numerous comments about these:

A RACK OF HUMAN? LET ME GET ANOTHER PLATE...

Let's see, what happened this weekend? I slept and played Final Fantasy 10, the entire time. It was...awesome. I stopped thrice to eat, and I slept about half of both days. Now that is my kind of weekend. What was kind of interesting though, was my lone meal on Saturday. You see, at the University of Cincinnati on weekends, the menu is limited, which means no burgers, no fries, and no pizza (which isn't so bad cuz I try to stay away from burgers and pizza, so they don't get old). What they DID have on Saturday was ribs. These were strange ribs though; some large, some small; some flat, some curved; some all meat, some all fat. I took the best-lookin ones, grabbed some applesauce, some pineapples, and some pasta and sat down. As I was sitting there, eating merrily, I came to a conclusion. These ribs were human ribs. They had to be, I mean, where else would you find so much inconsistency if they weren't butchered in the basement. So, surely they were human, but the question is, to whom do they belong? I quickly reached down to feel my own ribs. All there. I thought, maybe they caught the bastards who pulled the fire alarms and this was their punishment. I smiled ominously with that thought. Does that make me cannibalistic? To know that I might be eating a fellow classmate, yet continue eating? Its like McDonald's Chicken McNuggets and the rat meat...who cares what kind it is, right? I scanned the dining hall, and nobody else was eating them. Hmmmm. I shrug my shoulders and keep eating. I sure didnt care, and I didnt look like I cared either, since I checked to see if ribs were missing and now I had the sauce all over my shirt.

-Luke

ENGLISH COMP, HOW I DESPISE THEE (2/6)

Let me tell you a little about my English class. I hate it. I hate the professor and all her stupid beliefs. I hate everything that English Comp 102 embodies, I hate the person that hired my professor, and oh yeah, I hate the class times two. I got my first essay back tuesday, and I supposedly did it wrong...everybody gets to rewrite, but still, it is a bunch of shit. We were given four essays, and she told us to summarize and analyze one of them, and then write an essay telling why it was convincing or not. Okay so far, right? So I'm writing my essay, and something the author said sparked my interest, and I input my own thoughts on why I believe the author is mistaken. Big mistake. Apparently, we are NOT supposed to think about this at all, because we are supposed to decide from HOW it is written whether it is convincing or not, instead of what is written in it. This is the most retarded thing I have ever heard. One girl's essay for whom I did a peer review wrote, and I'm paraphrasing a bit,

"When I first read the essay, I did not like [the author].[The author] used big words that I did not know, and I did not like that. If [the author] wants people to be convinced, he should not use words that people don't understand, because nobody will understand what he is trying to say. I did not like the author's choice of words, so I was unconvinced."

I wanted to slap the girl back into second grade, because that's where this mind-numbing essay belonged. I think I actually got dumber from reading it. But that's not the worst part. Our 50-year-old single white female Jewish professor, whose nose you can see up even if your eye level is above her own, put an excerpt from this girl's essay on a transparency, and used it as a good example. She said the author admitted to feeling dislike toward the author, but still analyzed how the essay was written quite well.

I wanted to hurt her. I wanted to damage her beyond repair. This professor, who obviously greatly resents anything with a penis, dealt a fatal blow to any creativity I had hoped to exercise in this class. I might as well crumble up the essay I was supposed to "analyze," chew it up, swallow it, and shit it back onto a piece of paper and hand it in, because that's what she wants. Large, steaming piles of utter, raw feces spread evenly on four sheets of paper. Which is what I'm going to do when I rewrite the first one and also now, because my second essay is due tomorrow...and I haven't started. That is all for today. Farewell

-Luke

These are the entries available by request, from oldest to newest:

WELCOME
FLIPPIN OUT!
IS ANYBODY LISTENING TO ME?
SAY IT AIN'T SO!!!
UP AND RUNNING ONCE AGAIN (2/3)
THE LUKE MEHL SAGA:  DAY 6780 (2/4)
DBZ TIME (2/7)
MORE CREAM CHEESE THAN JELLY? WTF? (2/10)
NO ENGLISH THIS WEEK!!! (2/12)
WHAT A CRAZY WEEKEND, YA? (2/17)
DON'T LIKE MY DRIVING?  STAY OFF THE SIDEWALK (2/24)
POISONED  (2/26)
WHAT?  ROME'S BEING ATTACKED?!?  (3/4)
NOTICE:  CONTAINS URGENT MESSAGE  (3/10)
SONY, TWO DUCKS, A TIME LAPSE, MIX 22, AND A BLACK CASCADE LEFT IN THE WAKE OF A BOUNCY BALL INCIDENT (3/27)
ARMAGEDDON (4/4)
SILENT BOB SPEAKS (4/18)
ABERCROMBIE AND 'GLITCH' (4/22)